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Some are being beaten,
Some are being born.
And some can’t tell the difference anymore.
-Jewel Kilcher
The question plagues all those intrigued by vampires: Would you accept the curse of vampirism in return for the boon of immortality? I don’t expect to have to make the choice anytime soon, but I still feel it’s an interesting question. What it tells about us is open to interpretation.
There are some who don’t find immortality alluring, so for them the question is irrevelant. I am not one of them, that is sure. I can think of nothing as alluring as eternal life. To live beyond the human span is to see things you were never meant to see. Immortality allows you to watch history unfold, to escape the narrow vision that human life places on us. Like the best of literature’s immortal villains, you could create plans which take centuries to unfold. Life would take on such a richer context when your visions knew no end, when time stretched out before you in an endless stream of days.
Yes, I definitely like the idea of immortality, it has always been a fascination of mine. The question is, is immortality worth becoming a vampire. I can certainly imagine desirable immortal forms, but a vampire is not so obviously desirable. When I discuss vampires I am envisioning them as depicted by Anne Rice, not other monstrous incarnations. I’m talking about vampires which are intelligent, powerful beings. Rice’s vampires have preternatural strength, cannot be harmed except by fire or sun, can move quicker than the human eye. Their senses are heightened to a supernatural degree, even to allow them to read the thoughts of mortals. And when they are very old they take on even more power, such as flight. Such powers on top of immortality make it a very attractive form. When I was younger, and a full time reader of fantasy literature, it drove me wild that I couldn’t possess the kinds of powers these characters do. It is torment that we can imagine such things, but not do them. A form with supernatural powers is as attractive to me as immortality.
However, now come the shortcomings. The moral dilemma of the vampire is that you must live off of the blood of others to survive. Depending on what vampire myth you follow, you don't necessarily have to kill your victim. But death is always a possibility, and in any case you are not doing any good to their health. For our purposes, we will consider the vampire to be a creature that kills to live. Would you do it? Is this any different than eating animals as we do? If so, how different?
The emotional dilemma is watching the aging and death of your loved ones, and eventually your world. Can you watch your family members die? Your children, sibligns, grandchildren? What will you do as your way of life, becomes history, and you are living in a foreign world?
The mental dilemma is the need to keep your existence a secret. The world must be kept unaware of the existence of vampires, so you can never tell a mortal of what you are. Your amazing powers, your wondrous new world, all must be your secret. The excitement of your preternatural form is yours alone. Forever.
There is a wild card dilemma as well. Writers rarely consider the effect of the vampire’s lifestyle on their psyche, but I think this could be the worst drawback of all. Once you become a vampire, and forever more, you will not see the sun. You will live in the night forever (unless you’re one of those cheesy vampires on Kindred: The Embraced). I can’t imagine what that would be like, but my guess is that it would be horrible. Beyond the simple lack of sun, you also can only do what can be done at night, and what will not betray your nature. You cannot lead a normal life. It’s sort of like becoming a celebrity. You have acquired these awesome powers, but you can no longer do the things you may have once done. You can’t take part in most of mortal life, only that which takes place at night. Can you do all the things you imagined with your power? You live within the confines of your immortal form.
With that out of the way, I’ll answer the question. Yes, I’d do it. With an exception. In this exact version of my life, I wouldn’t because of Amanda. If I had no significant other, it would be a yes. But I can’t stand the thought of watching my love age and die without me. That’s where I draw the line, but nowhere else. I will admit that my fascination with immortality and supernatural powers overweighs my morals. If such an astounding thing as a vampire existed, if this world could be that amazing, then I would kill to be a part of it. Like Lestat, I would probably try to live off of murderers and rapists, but I understand that that is a poor excuse for morals. The truth of it is, I could rationalize my guilt away in order to be such an amazing creature.
As I have said, the emotional dilemma would be an obstacle for me. But other than Amanda, it wouldn’t outweigh my love of immortality. Not being able to tell anyone about it might drive me crazy eventually, but it wouldn’t stop me from accepting. Same with the loss of the sun. I would accept it, although I might come to hate myself for it. I would hope that the beauty of the night, especially through my heightened senses, would compensate for the loss of sunlight. As to what I would do, living out my life in the night, I’m not sure. It certainly limits your actions. See the world I suppose. Learn to play every instrument. Write and write. After a thousand years I should be able to produce a masterpiece.
I know that some people are bothered by my willingness to kill to live forever (yes, I’ve actually talked about this before). It’s true, that is disturbing. I don’t know what to make of it, except that I have a powerful love of the fantastic. I’d do almost anything to live in a world that was fantastic. So I guess the rest of you better hope that this world is as plain as it seems.
Sidenote: If you are interested in vampires, then please check out the vampire short story which is also on my writing pages. It's called A Time To Die. Check it out.
I’m apparently in a small minority of people, at least young people, that like to walk. I would say that walking is my main form of transportation. I’m not talking about going for a walk (or a constitutional as some real winners would say). I’m talking about walking to get somewhere, walking when you probably would rather be driving. I suppose that’s normal in the city actually, but not in the Burbs, where things are a little farther apart. Walking, like many things, is an old and simple answer to new problems. Want to reduce pollution?: Walk. Want to reduce your cost of living?: Walk. Want to get exercise?: Walk. Want time to think?: Walk. Want time to relax?: Walk. Want to spend time outdoors?: Walk. Want me to stop writing like this?: Walk.
And besides being such a useful activity, a life centered around walking is a better life. Work somewhere you can walk to and your life will be simpler. Only shop at stores you can walk to and you will be supporting the local economy, instead of national chain stores. Walk everywhere you need to go, and you’ll soon be cutting those unnecessary trips out of the day. Walk instead of driving, and that’s less money you’ll have to spend on a car. Which in turn means you need to work less, and have time to walk places.
I’m afraid I missed out on America’s love affair with the automobile. Me, I’m a walking fan. I wish we all were, then we’d have less noise and exhaust on the streets, and more people. I wish we all chose to do a little less, and walk a little more.
I could write reams on community, but I’m going to try very hard not to do that. Instead, I am simply going to describe some images of the community I would like to live in. I’ll spare you my lecture on the benefits of community, at least for now.
When I talk about community, I’m referring to an intentional community. One that has been created and designed purposefully. And the type I would live in would be committed to a low-impact life on the earth, in other words, an ecological lifestyle. It would consist of a mix of people: familes, couples and singles. They would live in individual households, asssembled together in a general area, the rest of their land left as wilderness. Familes would have their own houses, but singles could live together in a co-op style building if they wished.
These houses would be mindful of the use of shared resources. They could be smaller because the community would have a common house with kitchen, washing machines, and living space. Each house would be economically and ecologically designed, taking advantage of solar energy for passive heat and electrical needs. They would be owner- designed and built, with the help of the expertise and muscle of the whole community. It would be cheap to build with all these volunteers available.
The community would grown the majority of its own food, organically. With a few resident experts, and a lot of helpers, gardens could easily supply their food, as well as provide surplus income for the community. In both building and gardening, expense could be kept to a minimum by sharing tools and materials. A communitiy would need much less tools than all those individual houses would.
Dinners would be prepared in the common house by a rotating crew. Depending on the size of the community, each person would have to work in the kitchen between once a week and once a month. Once again, costs and ecological impact are less when common resources are used. And work is less for everyone.
With living costs this low, everyone would have the chance to work at home. People could run their own businesses to supply the cash they need to stay in the community. Or the community at large could organize an income-generating business that everyone could contribute to.
That is the practical side of life in my community. Of course the ramifications go beyond that. When I’m bored, lonely or bummed, I can saunter down to the Common House and find company. When I have a problem, chances are that someone in the community can help. If I want to learn a skill, probably someone in the community knows it. My life isn’t separated between friends, coworkers and family. I don’t have to hunt for companionship, instead I’m challenged by it.
That’s a description. I’ll save my commentary for a rainy day.
"The world is turning.
I hope it don’t turn away."
-Neil Young
The End